Remarks of President-elect Barack Obama
As Prepared for Delivery
December 17, 2008
I would like to thank everyone for attending. In speaking to you today, I hope to clear up a pressing issue. I’ll take questions for a brief period after wards.
Regarding the controversy surrounding the Senate seat which I am vacating, there seems to be quite a bit of discussion regarding the tenor of my responses since this story broke. My first reaction was said to be lacking, muted, and/or similar to Bush’s response to 9/11. In my defense, I would like to say ummmm, uhhhh, HOW THE F*CK WAS I SUPPOSED TO REACT? I’ve lived in Chicago for over twenty years and everyone knows Chicago politics ain’t no joke! Working in the state legislature and the Senate, I learned how to serve the people and steer clear of the bullsh*t. Of course, I learned my lesson with Rezko, but that’s life right? Let’s take a look at this, five out of the last seven Illinois governors have been indicted, what the hell exactly was I supposed to be shocked or surprised about?
And yes, I made it very clear that I didn’t have sh*t to do with that pay-to-play game. By that I meant, if anyone on my team did anything remotely shady, their azzes would be gone with a quickness. Ova! Done! As my good friend Bernie Mac would say: “I wish a motherf*cka would!” Curious about why Valerie was pulled? Word on the street was that Blago wanted a little quid pro quo for the seat. NO, it was not said to us directly. NO, we did not have any solid proof. But do you actually think we were going sit around with our thumbs up our azzes and hope he would chose her even though he wasn’t gettin’ a damn thing and taint my administration? I don’t think so!
Columbia? Harvard? The best-ran Presidential campaign ever? But some folks out there still think I’m a little slow. So after everything I’ve accomplished, you think I would enter into some deal with a governor who has been actively and publicly under investigation since 2005? Not only am I not a friend of that dumb azz, I haven’t talked to him in over a year. The “liberal” media seems to place very little importance on that fact or that Blago called me a motherf*cker and ranted that we would only show him appreciation…I guess that must be bad for me and good for McCain!
Between Blago’s comments, my response, and Fitzgerald’s statement that we are in the clear, you would think this story would be over. I guess the press corp is feeling a little guilty since they’ve been riding the nutsack of the Bush administration for the last eight years. Let me give you a little advice, the next time you focus so much on one individual in a scandal, at least make sure there is a real connection to the crime. For instance a well-liked but barely vetted Governor running for VP who is under suspicion for abusing the power of her office and later found guilty of an ethics violation. A storyline like that would surely satisfy the media bloodlust and certainly justify a media frenzy and would easily warrant more than the two-day life-cycle it received after her conviction.
And another thing, forgive me for not being so anxious to talk about this topic for hours on end. I got a lotta of other sh*t on my mind. You know pulling the country from the brink of a full-blown depression. Not to mention trying to coming up with an administration and policies to keep the country safe while at the same time trying to pull our reputation out of the gutter. Yeah, I’m a little busy…
Forget the question-answer portion, I’m out! Peace!
BTW, I need to also make sure my Secret Service team is on top of their game.