“[Talking about a porn site] but it doesn’t show d*ck going in which is a huge
concern…Besides, have you seen a vagina by itself?…Not for me.”
Seth, Superbad (2007)
Fascinating, interesting, sometimes off-putting breed of human, men are.
Ahhhh, I remember my first exposure to males & sex, just like it was yesterday. I was
about five years old and was playing in the hallway with my upstairs neighbor, Ricky
(who also about five years old). Ricky pulled down his pants and pleaded with me to
touch his penis. I did. It was very sticky. We resumed running up and down the
stairs. End of story.
Over my lifetime, I have learned and accepted that men are different. That is especially
true when it comes to thinking about sex and putting forth (the necessary) effort to
engage in sexual activity. Whether it was the pre-teen boys waxing poetically “if you
love me, you would do it” or the studies citing that men have sexually thoughts as much
as 7 times a minute or repeatedly hearing about the fantasy of two women simultaneously
pleasing a man or realizing that a man can be aroused simply by the wind blowing.
And that is not evil, doggish, or deviant behavior, that’s just men.
When taking into consideration, the need for the human race to propagate, it makes sense
that someone needs to be willing, singularly-focused, and determined to procreate.
Men have been bestowed that honor. Frankly, women have alot things going on in their
lives and sex can easily be relegated to the back burner. There’s the kids, job,
cleaning, cooking, school, going to the hair salon, shopping, partaking in great
cuisine, CHOCOLATE (especially the martinis), gossiping w/ girlfriends, diet/working
out, sleep, etc. If the sole responsibility to populate the earth was left up to women,
we would have died out a long time ago.
One religious site discussed this topic at length and one statement supported my
previous reasoning. Paraphrasing, “God’s/universe’s intent was(is) to assure the the
human race would continue on earth, regardless of what else is going on.” Basically
saying that God instilled in men a very strong biological urge to want to procreate,
i.e., have sex. Which leads to my MAJOR DISCLAIMER…
EVERY MAN IS NOT THE SAME AND EVERY WOMAN IS NOT THE SAME. Taking into account age,
personality, beliefs, past experiences, and relationships status, everyone does not fit
the narrative. I am speaking in general terms only. Generally, men are more
sexually-driven than women…they think about it more, are willing to do more to get it,
and are much more focused on sex for THE SAKE OF HAVING SEX PERIOD. Generally speaking.
Ok, ladies let me give you an example. Sam and Linda meet, have a some good
conversations, go out a wonderful first date and have sex after that date (the same night). Scenario 1:
The next day, Linda terminates all contact with the Sam. Sam’s ego will be crushed and
wonder about his skills in the bedroom. Scenario 2: The next day (after the first date
and sex), Sam terminates contact with Linda. Although Linda will worry whether or not
Sam liked her personality, her BIGGEST regret will be having sex with him. Whereas, Sam
is ecstatic that he had sex with a woman he liked (and will later convince himself that
it is not his bedroom skills…there was something wrong with her), Linda is incensed
that she “gave it up” to no-good Sam whom she now describes as a dog and a player.
Ladies: Outside of a committed relationship, a woman wanting love/intimacy IS NOT EQUAL
TO a man wanting to have sex. Generally speaking. (Even inside of a committed
relationship, men often want to have sex for the sake of having sex with their SO, but
that’s an entirely different situation.) But how can men and women be so different
(generally speaking)? That’s part of life’s journey.
***EDITED TO ADD: Some people have expressed concern that I am saying that women don’t love sex. I am NOT saying that. I know women LOVE sex, I’m a woman and I love sex, ALOT! Nor does expressing this theory make women inferior to men, men and women are just different in some aspects. Again, the point is that men are willing to do much more for sex (think prostitution), think about sex more often (i.e. porn), want to do it much more (many gfs/wives have complained that their SO want sex no matter what…doesn’t matter if they just had an argument, if either is a exhausted, if its the middle of the night…even right after the funeral of a close relative!)
Additionally, as far a procreation is concerned, I know many women feel the urge of motherhood, however, most women aren’t going around having sex with everyone possible specifically to have a child. With a male’s “sex for the sake of having sex” attitude, propagation of the human race is assured (as long as they continue to have sex with women) even if they are not planning on having children, many children are being born. Men aren’t constrained as much by needing a willing sex partner who they feel would be a good partner or they are in love with or the need be in a relationship, i.e. they just don’t have as many requirements as women do when having sex that could lead to childbirth.***
All this lead me back to Judd Apatow. He has directed such films as 40 Year Old Virgin,
Knocked Out, and Superbad. Apatow’s genius is his genuine, hilarious portrayal of sex
thru the eyes of a males. Ladies, if you want to understand the workings of the male
mind, please pick up his movies. You can summarize Apatow’s work and philosophy in his
statement: “America fears the penis, and that’s something I’m going to help them get
Jamie Foxx used lyrics to effectively express this sentiment:
I’m startin’ to believe,
Something’s wrong wit me,
Cause everyday, every night, every hour, every minute
I’m thinkin’ ’bout it.
I can be at my job, in my car, up in church.
And when I try to pray it off, it won’t work
It seems that I can’t get enough of…
(Sex) All the time.
(Sex) On my mind.
(Sex) Everywhere I go.
(Sex) I’m tryna let you know.
(Sex) It’s stronger than any drug even love.